Stop And Smell

Ahhh, you're welcome!  In the deepest throughs of anxiety-ville, I now FREAK OUT at the thought of driving alone anywhere.  And after that passes, I recall driving us all over everywhere, or driving by myself to and fro MN and WYO, and I am dumbfounded.  What the hell happened to me?  And then I remember everything that has happened to me, and I cut myself some slack.  Progress.

Anyway, this 'napkin' is going to be longer than usual cuz I find it freakin' hysterical.  The other day, after Kel dropped the bomb that she created this blog, I was giddy.  How FUN!!  And then Jon got home, and I hadn't actually spoken to another human in eleven hours, and I was giddy, so I was all bouncy and giggly and whatnot.  We went out to dinner.  In a public place.  And I was still all jazzed up.  After we ordered, I told Jon about the new blog and about napkin writing, and I began to recite Stop and Smell, and I LOST MY SHIT in the middle of the restaurant.  Seriously, I was laughing so hard that I had tears streaming down my face.  I couldn't choke out more than the title and my name and then I'd just start laughing again.  Don't know why, but I all of a sudden felt it was hysterical.  My hysteronics set Jon off, so there we were, laughing like LOONS and everyone else thought we were certifiable, I'm sure, but it was a good time.

So then I finally manage to recite the whole thing.  Which Jon was amused by, not for it's poetic GENIUS or anything, but because he was amused that I found such a thing hilarious.  But THEN,  ooooohhhh yes, THEN, hours and hours later, he attempts to recite it BACK to me.  So good!!

Here is the original version:

Stop and Smell by Ginger Heins
I'm writing on a napkin.
An allll plain white textured napkin.
Is it perfumed?
NO!
At least I can't smell it.
My nose just can't handle it.
But maybe that's because I smelled shit
One time.

Okay, here's Jon's Very Serious Version of the Masterpiece.

Does It Smell? By Ginger Burns
I got a white napkin.
It's smelly.
I don't know!
My nose is jacked up.
And I smelled shit once.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poetic masters.  That's us!!