I will readily admit that I am an admirer of the English language. I hoard vocab words like shiny new toys and wait with baited breath to dole them out for amusement and entertainment. Unfortunately, it is pretty much only for my amusement and entertainment but that is a different blog. However there is one subsection of words that continues to evade my abilities. Profanity.
Words classified as profane are some of the most versatile - one word can mean good, bad, cool, crap, etc. - all depending how you use it. However you do have to be able to use it CREDIBLY for this to work. Unless I am severely stressed, drunk or angry I cannot, for the life of me, swear with any effectiveness. I drop an f-bomb, immediately blush, giggle and glance surreptitiously around for the swears police. I thought as I aged I will be able to more authentically swear, perhaps, I mused, it was something one had to grow into - this, sadly, does not seem to be the case. All of my friends can swear and not sound like tiny school kids trying on bad girl clothes. Why can't I? Perhaps I need a swears mentor? More practice?
My five year old can swear with more audacity and joy than I can. However he declares he is "bored" of the swears he knows (two for those keeping my bad mom tally) and has expressed a desire to make up new inventive swears to alleviate this ennui. Perhaps this is the solution to my dilemma as well! I too should make up new words to suit my swearing needs and thus be able to kill two birds with one stone. I will have new vocab AND be able swear!
Somehow I don't think it will be the same... fuck.
***giggle*** snort*** damn....
