Cast Your Vote

The Collective Unit had a reunion last Thursday.  Coffee was involved.  As were napkins.  And lots and lots of laughter.  We even had a camera present, so we decided to take some shots for ye olde blog here.  Hubs was our photographer.  Here are the results of the first CU Photo Shoot in oh say ten years.

"Calm Beginning" shot

"We Just Won the Lottery" Shot

"Let's 'Cheers!' And Be Really Cheesy" shot

"Pretend You Just Took A Swig of Bad Coffee" shot

"Cute Boy Just Walked By" shot

So we need help in deciding which pic should remain on the blog forevermore.  Tell us which one you like the best, either here on the blog or on facebook.  We'll probably choose at some point in the future.  It's almost like voting.  And it's a very American thing to do - voting.  Don't let the terrorists win.

Good Tip

Warning:  Don't read this if you have a weak stomach coupled with a good imagination.  Or if you are a man.




Last Friday, I had a routine appointment with my OB/GYN, just to make sure all was still good after the anarchy of the last couple of years.  She starts talking about vaginal discharge.  Yeah, she did.  This is what she said:  "If it doesn't itch, doesn't smell, if it has no color, if it's not FOAMING and if it's not GREEN, everything is fine."


Good God.  There are women out there who have a foaming green substance coming out of their vaginas.


I have added those women to my own personal list of people to pray for.  Life is hard enough without green foam.

Why? Chicken Thigh

Hard to argue with that right?  Here is a list.  I am famous for them.  Well....  sort of I like them.  Probably it's annoying but no one has been so rude or exasperated to have declared them so to my face (or even loudly behind my back) and so I carry on...


1.  I found a grey hair this weekend.  It is my first.  It has been my first for quite a while now considering its length.  I first tried to deny it by declaring it a blonde highlight.  After removal and closer examination I immediately tried to upsell by declaring it to by a snowy and distinguished white.  I am still clinging to that and have disposed of the evidence so you all will have to just let me live the fantasy a bit longer until it grows in again.


2. The voice.  I like it, alot.  It seems better than idol in many ways.  Mostly in the way where I don't have to listen to alot of bad singing.  However I don't like Christina.  Mostly I fear that any moment her frighteningly large and round-like-melons mammary glands will escape their flimsy bindings and I will be scarred for life.  Maybe I am just jealous.   I am very found of Cee Lo however and oddly enough Blake. 


3.  I am downsizing again.  Unlike most people our "starter" house was good sized and we "downsized" when we first added to our family.  Now we are downsizing again as we will most likely be living in an apartment or condo in MA.  ( Which by the way sounds alot like MEH to me - maybe just my mood?)  So faced with storage and moving costs I am endeavouring to fit all my necessities into a 26' U-Haul.  Biggest challenge?  The fabric stash.  I can't part with any fabric larger than 3 x 3 inches square.  It is a problem, I know.  SO today I got rid of it..... ALL.  If it wasn't part of a quilt or a soon to be finished project.  If it didn't have a finite purpose - It got trashed or donated.


Part of me?  Elated.  I feel so free without all those pressing whiney little bits clamoring for a use, a home.  Part of me? Devestated.  All those possibilites, all those maybes and last minute what can I make with this - also gone.


I guess that sums up how I feel about this whole moving thing.  An intoxicating mix of elation and devestation.    I look forward to thinking I am bored again one day.

judas

i can't help feeling that the rap in gaga's judas sounds like something one of us would write:

In the most Biblical sense,
I am beyond repentance
Fame hooker, prostitute wench, vomits her mind
But in the cultural sense
I just speak in future tense
Judas kiss me if offenced,
Or wear an ear condom next time

Affaire de spellinge

The computer has been dead for over a week now and I am getting an unplanned vacation from work. And unfortunately from getting paid. And apparently the blog. But I can remain silent no longer and thus am iPoding it in. Please feel free to heckle my poor one finger typing skills and any auto correct hilarity.

Speaking of auto correct I find it quite amusing what it attempts to make of my kellisms (wanted to make that chemists by the way - is that ironic? I never recall.) and poor attempts at spelling. One could say I have quite a bit of love for auto correct - it helps me use really big words I wouldn't normally be able to spell and provides amusement in the bargain. For example, I like to abbreviate my CU associate's name to Lish which auto correct feels should always be Lush. I find this hysterical, everytime. You should too.

The other day I was attempting to spell bureaucracy. Auto correct tried many different words to try and help: beauty, bankrupcy, beneficial. Finally, after a good 10 minutes success was achieved! Then auto correct broke up with me. Won't even take my calls. Something about holding me back and being a crutch but if you ask me I think mr. Auto correct is getting a bit too high in the instep, too big for his britches and decided that our daily wranglings were beneath him. Well I'll show him! I'm gonna learn to spell all by myself!

Aw who am I kidding - we all know I will bake a bribe cake instead.

Girls, I don't get it

i was reading to truman last night when Ev walked in and held up his cell phone for me to look at and i figured it was just going to be some cartoon or something. it was the news that bin laden had been found and killed. my jaw dropped.


not long after i watched the president's announcement and speech which made me happy and proud.


when we went to war after 9-11 a lot of the reasoning didn't make sense to me. i am still not 100% versed on all of the "reasons" to declare war, i know there have been "great losses and great gains" do i know all of the details, not even close. like most americans i enjoy my freedom without a lot of PERSONAL sacrifice. my loved ones are not overseas fighting, my children are at home in their beds. but there was one thing i never really questioned and that was that bin laden was a mass murdering tyrant that needed to be brought to justice.


last night all i felt towards the troops and the insanely brave men who found bin laden and killed him was extreme gratefulness. to me there is absolutely no reason a mass murderer needs to be shown any mercy. i don't mean to be crass, but the gonads it takes to carry out a mission like that with a level head is something i could never ever do. it astounds me, and fills me with gratitude and pride.


so i was surprised when i woke up and found that not everyone shared my feelings on this issue, most specifically people i know who call themselves christians. in their minds, celebrating the death of a mass murderer was not christian. now, i believe everyone is entitled to their opinion but i am not gonna lie, it pissed me off. as if somehow being a "christian" makes you rise above the sense of relief that bin laden was gone. that somehow people who DID feel happy he was found and killed are "less christian" than you are.


i am shocked that after nearly 10 years of fighting that anyone would deny ANYONE the right to celebrate this great american victory. to me it's almost a slap in the face to the men who carried out the operation.


so many thoughts have poured through my head today:


if a police officer kills a man who pulls an automatic weapon on him we don't blame the police officer.


we so easily vilify the teenagers who shot their peers at columbine but to celebrate BIN LADEN'S death is somehow unchristian?


has anyone ever said "gee, it was a shame everyone was so happy when hitler died??"


does anyone ever TRULY put themselves in another person's shoes?


i guess for me today it came down to the fact that i may have a bit more of a grasp of my dark side than other people. if someone murdered one or all of my children, you would have to hold me back because i would not hesitate to retaliate.


one of the things i have learned through the years is "fear is not logical." the fight or flight reflex is strong in humans...we are animals after all. the desire to protect is innate.


i have heard these same people arguing this point tell their children it's "ok to hit back" if their children are hit. what???? but killing BIN LADEN is bad?


i don't hide behind my christianity and i think this is ok, i know "jesus is just all right with ME" when it comes to this stuff.


if i allow MYSELF  a few moments of pride for my country and a huge sigh of relief and feelings of justice than i sure as hell am going to let the families of the VICTIMS of 9-11 dance in the streets.

happy sunday

We got a redlight 
Pornographic dance fight 
Systematic, honey 
But we got no money 


lady gaga